Heart song

Tonight I cry
Because it’s the one thing I can do
Tonight I cry
Symbolically, words like a teary eyed ocean, welling up, rising. A flood. Inside.
Tonight I cry
With those words dripping from my heart. I want to give up.
When I think about giving up though, Those words bring with it such cacaphonic waves,
Waves that I cannot let wash away … this pain.
Tonight I cry
Because of the lost flame
Constricted and chained to these four walls.
Exchanging pleasantries – I hate pleasantries when I don’t feel pleasant at all.
It’s your favourite lie though, don’t want to acknowledge the wall.
A plastered smile on my face you caressed and …
Or so it seems.
If I’m honest
Your mystery of sovereignty and goodness are still mysteries to me.
Crushed, downtrodden
Neglected and broken
Yet, you say
Hope is the anchor in this
raging ocean
of tears and fears
I’m trying to hold onto your anchor
Yet it’s also leading me further down
So these tears may be the only thing keeping me a float
Until you reveal yourself to me and redeem my plight. Or at least give me the emotional might to press on. Strong.
Tonight I cry
I’m blind, I need your eyes
To see past my situation with humanistic eyesight.
-Angela Johnson

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