Day Quatro: Off Treatment

For those of you in the ‘know’, you will already be aware that I’ve been off treatment for lyme disease for four days now. I’m very shaky right now so please bear with my possible typos and probable horrid grammatical errors.

Let me assure you though that this was not an intentional, “Oh, I think I’m just going to take a little breaky break from my meds”.
I’m going to be honest yall, I can’t afford treatment or my doctor visits right now, so I cancelled my doctors appointment (which was several weeks ago) And I’ve basically been using up whatever I had left of my meds….so, I finished them…4 days ago lol! And now I’m med-less for the rest of the week.  It’s crazy but in this short little period of time, I have noticed that my neurological issues and movement problems have been worse, especially my tremor, spasms, jerking…etc.
So, just judging from this- it seems like the antibiotics ARE working. Because I noticed (after 3 months) they definitely have lessened the intensity and frequency of a lot of my neuro symptoms as well as other symptoms. Except for when I herx. Then things get baaaad!! lol

I might be M.I.A for the next little bit because I feel like I am getting worse, so I figured that while I have a tiny shred of energy left in my being, I should blog before it disappears! That way I can keep you all up to date on what has been going on with me and why I am gone from blog-land. But to recap: the past few weeks have been hard. My back has been driving me nuts. I already have had a disc protrusion in my lower back, and the past few weeks my upper part of my back has been in agonizing pain, in the same way that my lower back was before I blew it! (Slipped a disc) so, naturally, I haven’t been doing much, to avoid throwing my back out completely. Because I am terrified and do not EVER want to experience that pain again. It is so painful!
For those of you who don’t know: Lyme disease loves to eat away at connective tissue! (Om nom nom!) So for those of you who have constant back problems, hemorrhages, joint problems (rheumatoid arthritis?) did you know that there may be an actual bacterial infection causing that pain and inflammation? Cue: Borrelia burgdorferi!

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But just so you all know, I’m still alive and kicking (Obviously, it’s not like this is some phantom blogger lol..).
I just wanted to let you know that for anybody going through a season like this, it is soooo easy to get discouraged. Grieving is
a normal part of my life these days, so I want to personally say thank you to my friends who have been a huge encouragement and blessing to me in the middle of my dark days. You don’t know how much your encouragement shines a light into my ever seeming darkness.
I really do thank God for you and today, I woke up with a sense of optimism. So I doodled this to encourage myself today:
doodleHe gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.   Isaiah 40:30-31

So until next post-
Keep fighting!
xoxo
Ang

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