I’m Too Tired- A poem by me

It seems as though these days, I have a lot on my mind and a lot I want to write about as it’s my way to vent. It’s something I’ve naturally gravitated towards when I’ve been in an emotional state (high or low), either through music or poetry. I just hope that after reading this poem, you will be kind to those dealing with an illness.

I also want to give a shout out to those who have been sharing and blogging my poem! I heart and appreciate you!
blogger support

I wake up feeling tired
Some days
I’m uninspired
Because I’m.. too.. tired
To think
Too tired of this physical grief greeting me
Walking up a flight of stairs
Is a marathon for me
inhale and wheeze
struggle to catch my breath
Forehead is feeling wet
hearts beating faster
legs getting weaker
need to find a seat so I don’t pass out
Smiling on the outside
Inside I want to shout
But I can’t because I’m too tired
I’m here for a purpose
Purposely vexed
Can’t lift this if I tried to
In isolation I find rest
and in rest I find stress
knowing I used to do more
And knowing I do different mores now
I used to run and dance
but also
I used to cry less
I used to feel less hopeless
Not bear emotional and physical burdens on my chest
I used to care for others more
Because they used to be less sour
Was ok being cared for
Now I run from people, harder
because I’m too tired of
The silence when I start to pant
The looks I get when I say, “I can’t.
The nods that are supposed to understand and be compassionate
just question your integrity with a second glance
because you look “ok”
so you think I must be lying, but
You don’t see the tears hitting the pillow every night in silence
but really, how am I supposed to look?
Since you hold the image of mankind and disease in your books?

If you want to destroy someone in the most unkind of ways
Shoot them down, tell them “you’re okay”
“pray a little harder, have more faith”
“Laziness is cured by doing something about it every day”
It hurts deeper
to be shot down verbally
when we’re already dealing with pain physically
Each blow sways us away from human interaction
Forces our minds into a state of rejection
But it doesn’t matter anyways
because I’m too tired

– Angela Johnson


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