Before this gets all ranty and personal-ish I want to wish you all a Happy Holidays!
So, I have been super thankful because for the past week I have been doing considerably well while I have been working. I wouldn’t say I was 100%, but overall, my symptoms that did flare were totally cool because I could handle them. I noticed though that near the end of my work week (2 days ago), my symptoms started creeping up on me again. I always know when to expect them, because my body only seems to be able to handle 4-5 days of work until it crashes.
Today at church I felt like I was going to pass out while standing. I love worship, and I looove singing to God, but today, I just wanted the music to stop! Every time I would sing, I felt like It was getting harder and harder to breathe. (And I wanted someone to cut out the lights too- forreal!). Music and the lights seemed to really bother me today. And praying just made me feel like I was about to pass out, but luckily I didn’t! I continued to have aches and pains all over my body and looked like a preggo lady by the time noon rolled around. Definitely had some sort of inflammation going on or something. (I’ve had this before, nothing new).
But anyways, the “pains” that I had in my body I have probably been experiencing for a week or two straight, as well as muscle fasciliations. I noticed that my right ankle and my knee have been bugging me. I’ve been getting sharp pains when I stand or walk, so I’ve been wrapping up my foot up with a tensor bandage under my shoes to help alleviate some of the pressure while I’m working. That seemed to have helped a little bit. See, I’ve had torn ligaments, have had fractures, and broken bones….but I’m pretty sure this is some sort of nerve pain. (Or chronic muscle and joint pain) because it’s different. Painful for sure, but it’s a different kind of pain.
So since Friday, other symptoms that I’ve had are flu/cold like symptoms that have been popping by to say hi!
I’ve been having a hard time breathing, have been coughing like a mad woman, have had a consistent headache, and have also felt light headed and dizzy. I’ve been breaking out in sweats, and my neurological problems seem to be flaring up. I’m having a hard time reading and seem to be mixing up letters and mistaking whole “words” for completely different words. It’s like I’ve become dyslexic or something and It’s really starting to frustrate me because I love to read! But I know there is not much that I can do about this so I need to just pray and be thankful that at least I still have the basic function to read.
I can’t sleep, as it’s 2:32 am. This has been happening a lot lately.
And as of right now I look like some sort of vampire creeper, because I’m really pale right now and my eyes are red and puffy. I have red bags under my eyes, and my eyelids are swollen. I even took a picture for you. I look super disgusting, but whatever. Who cares.
I have a new puzzle piece to this journey I’ve been on regarding this mystery illness I have. I asked my doctor to test me for lyme disease, because Lyme disease can mimik MS (which I’m currently getting tested for!), as well as ALS, Parkinsons, or even CFS/ME.
It wasn’t until I started researching LYME when I remembered that I actually found a tick at my moms house, It was in the bathroom. At the time, I didn’t know what the small black bug was, so I looked at it super closely and examined it and flushed it down the toilet! When I did my research on lyme, I saw pictures of ticks and thought…”Oh, so that’s what that was!”. This was probably a few years ago, when I flushed the tick down the toilet.
We also had a cocker spaniel dog with long fur, that loved to play outside at the time. Our yard, was small but very forresty. Yes, I said forresty. LOL. Our house is on a hill, so there are lots of trees and wildlife behind our tiny yard. So I wonder if our dog brought a tick in the house and if HE contracted a disease from a tick bite, because he died that year. He slowed down and got weaker and eventually started to loose his personality too, which was the saddest part. Around the same time a few years ago, I went camping a lot! Probably 3 different times during the summer. Once we took our dog with us, and the other times I just went with my friends. I’ve been doing research on this disease and I’m really praying that something comes out of this, even though the test itself to diagnose LYME is flawed, (they still go by the ELISA test) and it can still lead to misdiagnosis. But even if I test positive for one of the components but not all 5, I know that it’s in my system and I will FINALLY know what I need to start attacking. I just want to get better because I’m missing out on life, and I’m changing. My personality is starting to change too. 2 years goes by fast.
In some ways it’s good, and in some ways it’s bad.
On a positive note though. I should get my tests back for LYME soon, and I’m also getting my MRI’s in 7 days!
So I’m super pumped because, for the first time since this craziness started, I feel like I have a glimmer of hope. I feel like I may actually be able to get better and hopefully, be able to do some things I used to do! My passions have been squashed, but I am still dreaming of the day when I can dance again. (And not get sick from it!)
I thank God that He’s continuing to give me the strength to endure through all this. And I pray that he would do the same for you, with your plight. One thing I know is, he has never left my side through all of this. And I know that Jesus understands my pain because he was a man of many sorrows. Remember that if you are suffering with something at the moment, Christ also suffered. 🙂 You are not alone. God’s got you.