Joyful tears.

So the weirdest thing just happened. I sat down, ready to eat my salad, played a song by Phil Wickham called Heavens Song and listened to the words. I started thinking about God’s goodness. Out of nowhere, all of my current struggles flooded to my mind and I began to smile. I then became joyful thinking about how much greater things will be with I am finally with Christ. Then BLAM! It hit me. I started crying.  It seriously came from nowhere. I still don’t understand it. I had no other emotion but the ever apparent tears streaming down my face. It just happened. It felt like my mind was racing a million miles a minute with different thoughts about God and I really just wished, I could be with Christ. I have days, where really….I’m restless. Even though I was crying, I was very joyful. Joyful for what God is currently doing, and joyful for what God will continue to do.
There’s a line in the song that says I want to run on greener pastures and it reminded me of what my friend said to me once. She has cerebral palsy and is in a wheelchair, and she talked about heaven with such joy and excitement because she said….I can’t wait to RUN and be able to use my legs, and jump and leap around. And now, a year later, I can’t run or dance anymore, so I relate. I can’t wait until all of my physical pain will disappear, but really, I can’t wait to be with Christ the most.  I can’t wait to be with someone who loves me unconditionally and had called me to be His since the beginning of time. I realize and take great comfort in the fact that everything we have lost in our lives for the sake of Christ, will be replaced In Christ. There can be joy in pain, because God uses our pain for His glory and our benefit. We only grow during times of testing. And when the testing is over, we shall be rewarded.
But anyways, I talked earlier about God replacing the things we lose in this world when we live for Christ:
-The fatherless are adopted in as God’s children
-The homeless are given a new home
-The hungry will no longer hunger
-Those who die will be given new and everlasting life
-The suffering and toiling we face now will be replaced with unending JOY

When we rise again in Christ ….I can’t even explain how wonderful a day that will be.
I think I kind of had a Paul moment, which in all honesty, I think we all have from time to time, because we know that to depart and be with Christ is far far better, but until Christ calls me home He has work to do through me while I am here.
But anyways, here are the lyrics that touched me so much. I still don’t know why but you can check this song out:
You wrote a letter and You signed your name
I read every word of it page by page
You said that You’d be coming, coming for me soon
Oh my God I’ll be ready for You

I want to run on greener pastures
I want to dance on higher hills
I want to drink from sweeter waters
In the misty morning chill
And my soul is getting restless
For the place where I belong
I can’t wait to join the angels and sing my heaven song

I hear Your voice and I catch my breath
‘Well done my child, enter in and rest’
Tears of joy roll down my cheek
It’s beautiful beyond my wildest dreams

I want to run on greener pastures
I want to dance on higher hills
I want to drink from sweeter waters
In the misty morning chill
And my soul is getting restless
For the place where I belong
I can’t wait to join the angels and sing…

I want to run on greener pastures
I want to dance on higher hills
I want to drink from sweeter waters
In the misty morning chill
And my soul is getting restless
For the place where I belong
I can’t wait to join the angels and sing
No, I can’t wait to join the angels and sing my heaven song

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